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 Post subject: Worst Query Letter
PostPosted: July 2nd, 2008, 3:55 pm 
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Joined: January 13th, 2005, 3:18 pm
Posts: 1495
Location: Islandia
Ya gotta go play:

http://www.romancejunkies.com/rjblog/?p=262

Some hysterical entries already!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: July 2nd, 2008, 6:10 pm 
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Joined: March 4th, 2004, 9:36 pm
Posts: 773
Location: Murphy, NC Copy Desk
Hi Ele,
Hee hee. I just posted my own entry, which took about as long to write as it looks.

Dave

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: July 2nd, 2008, 9:45 pm 
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Joined: July 14th, 2004, 8:45 pm
Posts: 2399
Location: australia
I've just added my own contribution. I really enjoyed both of yours.
I have to tell you that Query letters are the bane of my life. I just can't seem to get the right 'feel' - they always come out stiff and stilted. I think I try too hard to get it just right.
arrrgghhhh!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: July 2nd, 2008, 11:55 pm 
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Joined: January 13th, 2005, 3:18 pm
Posts: 1495
Location: Islandia
Dave, I don't think you have a career writing romance if you crank out bustblockers. Har! I almost fell out of my chair. Nice job, you two. Now why is that so much more fun than good query letters, I ask you!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: July 3rd, 2008, 12:49 pm 
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Joined: February 19th, 2003, 1:11 pm
Posts: 923
Location: Central Texas where the weather is always "sunny"
Love it!

# 5 Dave Levin Says:
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
To Whom It May Concern:

I have like a totally great book idea that I’m positive will be a bustblocker. I know this for sure because my mother-in-law said so and she’s such a good writer that at the supermarket where she works the boss always asks her to do the signs that say tomato’s on sale and stuff like that.

But before I spill the beers, I want to know if your one of those sleazeball publishers because if you are I don’t want you to make lots of money and me not.

Assuming you’re legit, my story is kind of a combination of the best parts of The Godmother Part L and The Even Couple. I can’t tell you more because it’s not written yet. But all I need to write this fantastic book is for you to get me a laptop, a room at a nice hotel with a pool because I do my best thinking when my head’s underwater, and a full-time personal assistant so that I can devote a full four hours a day to the book. And it would be nice if the assistant was attractive so that I’m not bored the rest of the time.

You need to replay right away because I can easily find someone else to publish it if you’re to dumb too.

Sincerely,
David H. Levin

p.s. - This is the first query letter I’ve written. I hope it lowers the bar.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: July 3rd, 2008, 9:37 pm 
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Joined: January 13th, 2005, 3:18 pm
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Location: Islandia
I think he'll win, don't you? Snort!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: July 4th, 2008, 8:23 am 
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Joined: December 12th, 2003, 11:20 am
Posts: 1551
Dave: hysterical. You've reminded me to try to start every day with a good laugh.
Happy 4th, people.

Colleen

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: July 4th, 2008, 1:52 pm 
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Joined: March 4th, 2004, 9:36 pm
Posts: 773
Location: Murphy, NC Copy Desk
Thanks, everyone!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: July 4th, 2008, 9:04 pm 
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Joined: July 14th, 2004, 8:45 pm
Posts: 2399
Location: australia
yeah - much better than my feeble attempt, Dave. Hope you win.

HEY - just had a thought. Does this mean that I not only suck at writing good query letters, I can't write bad ones, either?!!!!!!!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: July 5th, 2008, 12:30 am 
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Joined: March 4th, 2004, 9:36 pm
Posts: 773
Location: Murphy, NC Copy Desk
wendy wrote:
yeah - much better than my feeble attempt, Dave. Hope you win.

Thanks Wendy, but your attempt doesn't strike me as feeble, just more subtle than other entries. I don't see anything wrong with that.

Dave

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: July 8th, 2008, 3:05 am 
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Joined: July 14th, 2004, 8:45 pm
Posts: 2399
Location: australia
Congratulations, Dave, oh worthy and honourable co-winner with the other person whose name I can't remember.

HOORAY for you!!!!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: July 8th, 2008, 12:57 pm 
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Joined: January 13th, 2005, 3:18 pm
Posts: 1495
Location: Islandia
So, Dave is going to get interviewed at Lisa Logan's romance site.....ooooo, boy! Watcha gonna talk about....the best moves??? LOL.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: July 8th, 2008, 2:42 pm 
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Joined: March 4th, 2004, 9:36 pm
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Location: Murphy, NC Copy Desk
Ele wrote:
So, Dave is going to get interviewed at Lisa Logan's romance site.....ooooo, boy! Watcha gonna talk about....the best moves??? LOL.


You mean like "pawn to king-four"? I don't know anything about the other kind. I just be myself and watch women jockey for my attention.

Dave

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: August 8th, 2008, 1:10 am 
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Joined: January 13th, 2005, 3:18 pm
Posts: 1495
Location: Islandia
Here's the famous interview... and he actually talks about chess! Dave, where is your sense of adventure? http://tinyurl.com/6484d3

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: August 8th, 2008, 8:15 am 
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Location: Central Maine
I must have missed all this when I was on vacation in New York. Dave, that query letter is supremely awful!

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