broken child visitation arrangements...question

[groovy-old-lady]

My son and I spent basically the whole day in court today. The judge stated quite clearly that he could see his kiddos 3 times a week, and that any of the grandparents could supervise the visits (that would be us; he won't have anything to do with her folks). Once he's completed a portion of his scheduled counseling, supervision requirements can be dropped.

Visits are supposed to be arranged between us and the in-laws. I called this evening to see if the kids can come out on Sunday. They said no, Sundays are bad. Then suddenly, weekends were bad. That REALLY surprised me because the wife had originally suggested Saturday as the best day for visitation!

My son is working fulltime and in school fulltime. He wants to spend what little free time he does have with his little ones.

The wife and her father have a strong history of control issues and manipulation. Neither my husband nor I are allowed to pick the kids up (they're 45 minutes away) because "they've never ridden in a car with us before." (Sheesh. I wish my son or I had thought to question that one while we were still in court!)

What if ever time we try to arrange a visit, they find a reason why it won't work? Or what if they will only bring the kids just once in a great while and then come up with great alibis for all the missed visits.

I've already starting keeping records of what is said in each conversation. What else can be done legally if they sandbag him?
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[tdavis]

Good heavens groovy (((hugs))) I am so sorry!!!! I have been through some similar garbage recently with some male family members who also married evil witches....I have a private detective on speed dial... PM me or track me down through email ( you can find me I promise) and we will put our heads together girlfriend!!!!

td
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[denverd0n]

I would hope that you had an attorney with you there in court. Your attorney is the one who can answer this kind of question. It varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction and even from judge to judge. But in general, if they refuse to cooperate with the spirit of the visitation rulings, the judge can lay down specific times and rules for when they MUST allow visitation.

[Willow]

Divorces are all power & control struggles. Although it's diffcult to adhere to, setting a schedule for visitation is best. Then she cant say it's not a good time, etc. Keep a Behavioral Log and list day, time, event, and what she did not comply with. Send it to the atty when you get 5-10 of them. In the meantime, he needs to ask to have vistation spelled out. Days/times, etc.
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[groovy-old-lady]

So far we've been running one to two visits a week, which is more than I'd anticipated (the judge said three per week, but they live 45 minutes away and Mama doesn't drive).

Bonehead doesn't have an attorney. He makes diddley working for Applebee's and can't afford one. We might pitch in for one if we felt confident that he was really towing the line, but he's only 20 and he's very laid back, irresponsible, and immature (He thinks otherwise, of course!) He's foolish with the little money he does and we're not going to enable him. If he wants a lawyer he'll have to ante up! (Of course she has a lawyer - her parents paid for one.)

We keep every email they said and I take notes on phone calls. There have been some bizarre control issue "conditions". PrettyMom insists that her parents bring the children here and take them home. That puts her mom in the position of driving 45 minutes here, wasting 4 hours in our town, then driving 4 hours back. We've offered to share the load, but they don't want the children to ride with us because our granddaughter "might cry". (Oh well, saves us gas and time and stress, eh?)

I've raised 4 kids. My response to that is, "So?"

Nonetheless, we toss 'em in the car and take them out to eat or whatever and they don't fuss at all!

Of course we didn't do that the first visit because Grammy2 SAT IN OUR DRIVEWAY IN HER CAR FOR 4 HOURS and complained when we let Bonehead go into the backyard with his children without accompanying him. Oy!!!! My darling, sweet husnband put an end to that nonsense!

There's more, but I won't bore you with the detailed diaper instructions or 2 year-old "panic attacks" (read: temper tantrums). On second thought, it might make good reading in the Enquirer!
_________________
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and

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