** Willow slides a gin & tonic to TD** Affairs that turn into permanent marriages are in the single digits. If it worked so well, the % would be higher! There are warnings about dating married people because it's like sticking a needle in your area: SURE TO HURT!
The single digits that make it to altar then always wonder if cheaters cheat because the relationship started at the point of a person's lowest character flaw. The relationship started when a person was in need, not making rational decisions, and obviously in pain. Not healthy traits to build from. Affairs are symptoms of not only marital problems but personal relationship issues as well.

TD, do you want a twist with that G&T?

Well, the right SIDE of my brain works - sometimes (when it feels like it). The left doesn't work at all. Does that count, willow??

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Elle
Word 4 Writers has been relaunched!

Sure, that counts. Besides, what writer has a left brain anyway??

Yes please and I also want to confess that my brain doesn't work on either side. *grin*

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I'll write your book proposal so you don't have to!

Wendy, slowly emerging from her pity-party-sulky corner, looks around in a daze and says, HUH?!!! We have brains? We're supposed to use them? Good heavens, where did I leave mine?
I'll have a twist of lemon in my G&T thanks Willow and I'd love a couple of cherries on toothpicks.

Hey, I was watching a show on TV the other night, one of those detective things (I think it was Cold Case), and they were interviewing someone at their workplace. The person was packing large boxes and guess what it said on the side? MINT JULEP!!! I found it to be a significant moment. (For those who are new, I had a bit of an obsession about those things a while back.)

BuzzT - follow Willow's advice even though you don't want to. Do you really want to end up like Mickey Rooney or Elizabeth Taylor with a string of broken marriages behind you? Why has she come across your path? Because there's an ocean of humanity out there and lots of tempting possiblities will cross your path over time. There's nothing deeply significant about it, other than a chance to suck your gut in and say, no.

Twist and a few cherries it is... Yes, our learning and growing comes from adversity. God/The Universe whatever you refer to Him as, gives us the opportunity to face ambiguity (the gray areas of life where culture tells you it's safe) and choose. Then live with our consequences. And then if we are lucky, LEARN and gather INSIGHT. These come in packages to flush out our character. To grow us in ways we would never choose for ourselves. It is usually in the areas of honesty, fidelity, finances, parenting, and spirituality where we find our most opportunities. So BuzzT, this is just part of the path dude. We all have faced tempation (oooh, I do remember this one cutie that was really tempting...oh, well...). What will be on the other side of this is up to you. Guilt or growth? Really hard to have extra relationships w/o guilt. And as Willow always says "I don't do guilt."

Thanks all for the advice. I will try to put down the temptation as hard as this maybe. I will do as you say Willow. And I too am definitely going to get your book, actually several copies of your book as I have three grown daughters, that could use the advice.

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Buzz Timothy

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. (Ben Franklin)

We love you Buzz! We want you to have a happy life--too many of us know it isn't found in the direction you were headed. Gather round for a Willow group hug! **HUG HUG**

Having agreed with your advice, I have to ask, what if my heart just ain't in it. Just so many issues between us, not sure they can be resolved. We didn't marry for love we married so she could and her kids from her first marriage could get insurance. We have been freinds and have helped each other, but...

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Buzz Timothy

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. (Ben Franklin)

Well, that's your end of it. What is your wife's? Does she want to end it? Marrying to give someone insurance and leaving because your heart isn't in it says you need to look at WHY you get in and out of relationships so that it's not so casual next time.

Most people who end up racking up multiple relationships do so because they don't look at their own patterns--how/why they get into relationships, how/why they get out.

Even if you do end it with your wife. Do it the right way. Respect her enough to end it appropriately and for the right reasons that are ALL about your relationship and nothing to do with someone else's. Bring to it all the integrity you want given to you. But I still advocate for ending the affair. Dealing with your marriage (ending it appropriately) and having the girlfriend do the same thing. Both of you need months to deal with the ending of a marriage or technically you are emotionally unavailable with left over unworked thru issues that you bring to the next relationship. So either way you look at it, you've got your own work to do to end it and emotionally work on yourself to be the healthiest you for the next person.

Got it! Thanks Willow. I have enjoyed my time at the bar, next!

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Buzz Timothy

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. (Ben Franklin)

hey, hey, hey--where's the tip for the bartender??

Well...umm...er...ok, here goes...don't walk under ladders, watch out for black cats. Well no, here...(hands over stacks of money).

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Buzz Timothy

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. (Ben Franklin)

Whoa !!!

Ya'll getting pretty heavy in here man.
Willow ... better send me down another one. (bottle that is ..)

What was all that talk about our BRAN not working ??? One bowl of bran cereal in the morning is all I can handle. Works fine for me ...

.... takes another loooooong drink from the bottle and falls over face first onto the bar .... again

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Life is like a roll of toilet paper ...
The closer to the end it gets ... the faster it goes.

****giggles, like she does when she's had g & t*****

OK George *grabs George's hair and lifts his head* ------- get on over to the Bad Erotica and post something! After that comment you'll fit right in!!

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I'll write your book proposal so you don't have to!