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 Post subject: Why Spirits Don't Grieve
PostPosted: May 20th, 2004, 10:25 pm 
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Joined: August 1st, 2003, 9:52 am
Posts: 1880
In everything I've researched and read about spirit communication, I've never seen any account of a spirit being sad about being separated from their family and friends. (I'm talking about spirits, not ghosts - entirely different topic there.)

I think I've come up with an explanation for this. Feel free to offer your thoughts, too!

Spirits die, but they can still come by to visit when they want to. They can be in the same room with us, hear us, touch us, and even try to interact with us. Yes, we usually ignore them, but that's okay because they only need to wait until we fall asleep to interact with us.

While most of us can't see our spirits while we're awake and going about our day, our subconscious takes over when we're sleeping and we can see, touch, hug and talk to our loved ones who have crossed over in our dreams. And, since the spirits are able to give messages to us, talk to us, imprint important things to our subconscious minds, and know they can do so anytime we're asleep (or deeply meditating!), they're fine with that and don't need to grieve. Whenever we fall asleep, we're right there for them!

They probably don't really care if we can't remember what they said the next morning or not. They've fulfilled their emotional need to communicate with us, and can do so at their leisure. And, as I said above, whatever they've said to us is buried in us and won't go away.

I even thought about what it would be like if I was able to talk to my children each night, but each morning they'd forget what I'd said to them, or that I even came by for a visit. They'd go about their day, taking care of their lives...but, that night, when they're asleep, I could again talk to them, and they'd then remember everything we'd talked about the previous evening.

I used to think I'd miss my children dreadfully if I died, but thinking about it in this way really makes me happy and I now realize I WILL be able to talk to them, see them and hug them after I die. :)

What do you all think?

Hugs!
Angela


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: May 21st, 2004, 4:00 am 
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Joined: March 4th, 2004, 3:49 pm
Posts: 206
Angela,

I think that when our loved ones get to the other side and are able to see the big picture - the reason for their most recent lifetime with us - they simply don't feel the need to hang onto the same type of emotional connection that we still have to them, from this side.

When they make contact with us, they do it because they recognize our need to know that they're okay. But they're busy with their own life review and making plans to learn whatever it is they need to know in order to advance, spiritually. That may or may not mean a return to the physical form -- and it may or may not involve us next time around.

While that may be a distressing thought to us now, when we get to the other side, we'll understand it and accept whatever the next step is in our spiritual evolution.

That's my take on the situation, anyway.

Hugs,
Nancy

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: May 21st, 2004, 9:42 am 
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Joined: December 19th, 2003, 7:37 pm
Posts: 245
Yeah, I read that somewhere too. Those spirits are on a different plane or frequency and are also busy with their life reviews and whatnot. But that doesn't mean that they have abandoned their loved ones on the physical plane. This is easier to imagine if you think of a loved one walking into the next room. Just because you don't see them in the room that you are standing in doesn't mean that the person isn't there. That person is only gone temporarily. The point is that a departed loved one is around and is very much aware of what is going on in our lives, only can't intercede all of the time, as that would be like giving us the answers on our examinations!


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PostPosted: May 21st, 2004, 10:50 am 
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Joined: April 11th, 2004, 12:18 pm
Posts: 106
Angela,
Lots of things to think about, and as usual, you prompted me to ask a lot of questions. I'm wondering if spirits have "human" emotions after they pass. For one thing, do they miss their families? Can they long for them after they've passed, or do they experience some other type of feeling, if it is even a feeling at all. Forgive me if I sound way off base.

One of the things my sister and I have discussed is our deceased cousin. I'll get smells or ponytail tuggings and other signs that he's w/ me. My sister asked if I thought he visited her, too. Of course, I told her. Well, how can he visit us both? I didn't have an intelligent answer, except that spirits travel in a different plane from us.

Hugs, Marie

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: May 22nd, 2004, 4:15 pm 
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Joined: August 1st, 2003, 9:52 am
Posts: 1880
Howdy do!

From all the loving experiences I've read about from contributors to the last book (http://www.booklocker.com/books/1541.html), and all the research I did when writing it, I know we take our love with us to the other side, and we do feel the love. I know we don't just come back to comfort those left behind because sometimes visits are for the spirit's needs more than ours (for example, when a soul comes back to apologize for something the person left behind had long ago forgotten about).

Hugs!
Ang


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 Post subject: Spirits missing us
PostPosted: May 23rd, 2004, 3:37 am 
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Joined: May 13th, 2004, 12:59 am
Posts: 5
Location: British Columbia
I believe that when we die a timely death, it is because we have learned what we intended to learn in this life. This could also be the case if we are acting in the role of teaching or helping people cope with their lives.

This comes from the belief that we as spirits choose our parents as well as the circumstances we are born into. Maybe the parents are here to be our teachers and guides to help us understand a specific emotion or as a child we have come to teach the world through our parents how to cope with a tragedy. How many times have we heard of a young child dieing from some horrible event and the parents working hard to prevent the same tragedy happening to someone else. A prime example is Pediatric Aids would not have gained recognition as a separate issue in Congress had it not been for the fight of Elizabeth Glaser with the support of her husband, actor, director and producer Paul Michael Glaser. Their daughters cause of death was horrible, yet her young life was, and is an inspiration to all who live with Aids.

Death is not an end but a passage. Therefore, as spirits we visit with those we have loved just as we do in life when we live in a different geographical area. Sometimes, our path requires that we do not visit often, but just as in life, we do not think any less of those we have moved from or left behind. This belief is as a result of personal experience and has given me much comfort through the years.

Thanks for listening
Windy

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: May 23rd, 2004, 12:14 pm 
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Joined: December 19th, 2003, 7:37 pm
Posts: 245
I totally agree! I always intuited that my parents and I were perfectly matched. Even more important, I felt close to them, especially my mom. My mom has been gone for 18 years, but I've also intuited that she has never really left me and is very much aware of what is going on in my life. I think about her every single day.


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 Post subject: Spirits dont grieve
PostPosted: May 24th, 2004, 3:25 pm 
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Joined: April 29th, 2004, 8:49 pm
Posts: 3631
Location: God's country
Angela made the point that spirits dont grieve and just want to check in on us--but when I dream about them, I am ALWAYS grieving. I dont have good dreams about them. They are always gut wrenching drenched-in-sweat dreams. I hate them. I only had one neutral dream when my dad came and I had cigarette smoke in my room for 3 nights and then my gma passed. He was waiting for her and that was obvious. But all other dreams about him and my boyfriend have been AWFUL. So while they may not be grieving--I wish they'd stay out of my dreams because I SURE DO GRIEVE.


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 Post subject: Re: Spirits dont grieve
PostPosted: June 4th, 2004, 12:51 pm 
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Joined: June 4th, 2004, 10:27 am
Posts: 5
Location: Florida
Willow wrote:
Angela made the point that spirits dont grieve and just want to check in on us--but when I dream about them, I am ALWAYS grieving. I dont have good dreams about them. They are always gut wrenching drenched-in-sweat dreams. I hate them. I only had one neutral dream when my dad came and I had cigarette smoke in my room for 3 nights and then my gma passed. He was waiting for her and that was obvious. But all other dreams about him and my boyfriend have been AWFUL. So while they may not be grieving--I wish they'd stay out of my dreams because I SURE DO GRIEVE.


I am a little late in joining this discussion; however, I wanted to respond to what you said above, Willow. My mother, who had been living with me for the past 2 years, passed away on May 5, 2004. While I am certain that she has been here with me, hears my every word and thought, and responds in ways that I can hear, see and know that she is doing exactly as she had promised - that is, she would be with me always, my dreams of her have not been pleasant and are very much associated with her death and my not being able to do anything more to assist her in remaining alive in the physical realm. The dreams are grief wrenching - and are most certainly of my making and not my mother's. However, I read somewhere yesterday on a website pertaining to after death communication (ADC) that prior to falling asleep, it is helpful to ask of God or whatever higher power that you may believe in to allow the spirit to come to you in your dreams in comforting ways - in their spiritual presence rather than in the ways that we create and recreate as we attempt to deal with their passing. I hope this will be helpful to you. I am certainly going to give it a try and will let you know if it helps at all with my being able to let go of the nightmares that I tend to create for myself.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: June 5th, 2004, 11:05 am 
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Joined: August 1st, 2003, 9:52 am
Posts: 1880
Hi GulfLiving,

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. And I'm so glad that you're intuitive and that you know she's still here with you. So many people lost that gift as children and don't know how to find it again. I'm hoping this forum helps those unfortunate ones.

To you and Willow,

I know there are two types of dreams: 1. dreams that aren't really dreams but that are us visiting with the "other side" and 2. dreams that are the standard definition of dreams - our brains sorting out our feelings and intellect in ways that make sense to our subconscious.

When you have bad dreams about your loved ones, they're not real in the sense that it's not a spiritual visit. In all my research, I have only seen and heard of calm, loving, and extremely conforting visits from loved ones on the other side. And, it's quite clear to all those who have those wonderful dreams that it was not like a real dream. The love is so strong that I can only equate it to the unconditional love of a mother for her child.

Nightmares, on the other hand, while sometimes striking and able to leave a strong impression, don't bring those feelings of love because they're created by our imaginations.

Hugs!
Angela


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 15th, 2005, 12:19 am 
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Joined: September 10th, 2003, 12:34 pm
Posts: 45
Location: Stowe, VT
Windy, you're talking about a "timely death." I believe that every death -- except suicide -- is timely. Some people live out a long life to learn what they wanted to learn here, others just drop in for a quick visit and leave. As to the way of dying: I think some ways to die may look very cruel to others -- accidents, natural disasters, etc. -- but I don't think the "oversoul", if you will, of that person sees it that way. It's just another method to get out of the body, like developing a terminal disease. I believe that, if I'm supposed to die that day, I will find myself on a crashing plane or at the center of an earthquake, etc. If I'm not, I will be somewhere else.

I also believe that so many people leave this planet now in so large numbers --i.e. the devastating tsunami in Asia--because many haven't signed to be here in the "end days." (I know that sounds like the Book of Revelation, but many other belief systems also talk about this, e.g. the Hopi with their "Day of Purification",which is essentially the same). I think that we who still stick around here, have (on a soul level, pre-incarnation) decided to ride it out; seems that we're the more adventurous type.

Suicide, on the other hand, means that a person throws away the gift of the present incarnation she's received. Since we have free will, we always have that option, but it's not something we should do--it's like throwing away a mystery novel before you have read the last few pages. It only means that we might come back to repeat something similar because we still have unfinished business.


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 Post subject: hmmm....
PostPosted: January 25th, 2005, 1:08 am 
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Joined: August 21st, 2004, 9:25 am
Posts: 9
Location: Boca Raton, FL
I agree with Windy, I think from my communication with the other side that that is precisely what happens. When you get your soul's lessons, you get off the ride until your next incarnation, with it's set of lessons. If you don't get it, you get to do the dance again until you do. I believe when your soul's evolution is complete, you pass on to the realm of teacher, and your soul resides in Nirvana, Heaven or whatever place the place of resting is.

The plane of existence for the spirits is a parallel dimension to our own, and they have not left me with the impression that it is a bad place at all. The keep an eye on the loved ones they have left behind, and I have also found that you can set parameters for them that they respond to, ie.only coming when you have deep need for the sensing of their presence. I also have never detected grief per se from them, sorrow, longing but not grief. There is not the same sense of loss as we feel on the other side, again because their dimension parallels ours, and the can amplify their energy to manifest in our world. Usually they will gravitate to the same energies they were familiar with, which is why you find people on the other side in family units. So, the long answer to the short question is, no, I don't think they grieve. The ones who have dropped by after crossing over seem peaceful and mostly contented to me. I have met one or two confused souls who are not happy, peaceful or content, but you can usually get across to them that they need to stay in thier realm and no further trouble arises. But just like in life, some take more convincing than others.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 26th, 2005, 2:29 am 
This is really really interesting. Just the other day, I had a dream about my father who passed away on November 29th.

When he was dying, he became so weak that he could not talk, so I told him that if there was anything he wanted to say, not to fret during those moments, he would be able to communicate to the family during our dreams. (I know, I was hoping to set him at ease without really knowing if what I was saying made any sense).

Anyway, I have been having odd dreams about him, and the most recent dream seems to be very relevant to this very topic.

I dreamed that I was dying. I remember seeing my father very sad, sitting on a floor or a low lying seat. He was hunched over a glass bottle in his hand. His task was to let it fall to the floor and break.

This task of letting the bottle drop, in my dream, was a symbol for letting a person go.
The bottle represented me.

In a small flash of a dream, a woman told me, "I saw your father holding that bottle. He sure didn't want to let it go. I't made me want to cry watching him hold on to that bottle. Then he finally dropped it."



So, maybe I'm just reaching for a meaning, for relevence, but to me, that dream meant that my father had a hard time letting me go. He was my step-father, really. He raised me since I was 4 years old. I think he loved me more than many biological fathers love their children.


Dev


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