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 Post subject: Gah! Lonely
PostPosted: January 19th, 2009, 5:04 am 
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Joined: November 17th, 2006, 6:53 pm
Posts: 507
Location: The Third Dimension
Does anyone else get really lonely at night? I mean even in the middle of writing something, well after you've gotten going, do you suddenly crave someone, anyone to just be there? Trucking along describing something and wham! Lonely. And the thing you were writing about didn't remind you of anyone, wasn't nostalgic, had nothing to do with it!

If this happens to you, what do you do? Do you phone anyone? Wake someone up? I put music on, but it never helps. I'm wondering if this is related to grieving (unconsciously perhaps?), because I don't recall this feeling... this...this...desperate isolation...even when alone before. What happened to being excited to have time alone??? It's not PMS and I'm not pregnant. What is wrong with me?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 19th, 2009, 11:03 am 
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Location: Botswana
Nothing is wrong with you, Adele- you are human! All of us get lonely sometimes. If everyone's asleep then there are plenty of folks on the internet ready to chat. Nowadays no one is completely alone.

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http://thoughtsfrombotswana.blogspot.com/


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 19th, 2009, 12:12 pm 
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Joined: March 17th, 2005, 9:53 am
Posts: 157
Location: Garland, Texas
Happens to me occasionally on long road trips...surrounded by people...opportunities to meet new ones at every turn, and suddenly I'm desperately lonely.

That usually leads to circumstances when I "prang" something bendy and expensive on my motorcycle.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 19th, 2009, 12:13 pm 
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Joined: March 2nd, 2003, 1:04 pm
Posts: 595
You know what's nice company for a writer? A geek. (I mean that in the nicest way.) My nephew will come over and borrow our internet connection to download stuff to his PS3, and sit quietly for hours. No pressure to make conversation, no hurt feelings if I get wrapped up in what I'm writing, because he's just as wrapped up in whatever it is he's doing. He's the ultimate low-maintenance guest.

If you don't have a geek handy, Adele, you could get a cat - but be prepared to have to type one-handed while you keep Kitty off the keyboard. Or, a very lazy hound dog to just lay at your feet and gaze at you adoringly.

I hope you feel better soon and regain your comfort in solitude.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 19th, 2009, 1:14 pm 
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Joined: February 19th, 2003, 1:11 pm
Posts: 923
Location: Central Texas where the weather is always "sunny"
Or maybe grab your laptop (that is, if you have one) and head to the nearest Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts, work, and eavesdrop at the same time.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 19th, 2009, 1:20 pm 
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Joined: November 17th, 2006, 6:53 pm
Posts: 507
Location: The Third Dimension
Thanks, guys. Nice to know it's not just me - I love the suggestion for a geek! Paula, that is brilliant - my home computer needs a tune-up, and I'm sure that will take a few hours. Maybe I can find a 24 guy. I have no idea where to "chat." I once found someone in England years ago in a room from MSN? and I have no idea how I did it (technophobe). There doesn't seem to be any writer chats; I know of two, and no one is EVER in there past dinnertime. Tell me if I'm missing something.

Still lonely, but it's morning, and that means COFFEE. :D The weather here is not helping - gray, dead air, dirty roads, and an ugly sky. I wish it would snow. God, never thought I'd be saying that.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 19th, 2009, 7:21 pm 
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Joined: July 14th, 2004, 8:45 pm
Posts: 2399
Location: australia
Adele - Lolok, Daoine, Wattle and I all live in the Southern Hemisphere so we are always online when you Americans are supposed to be tucked up in Noddy Land. Come on the Forum here and start a new thread: Hello, anyone out there? I'm sure at least one of us will be around to answer you.

Also, I think it may very well be connected to your grief. The death of someone close to you is not just a terrible loss, it's also a reminder of your own mortality. Therefore when you're awake and working on your own (especially at night time) you are more aware of the silence, the space, the lack of intimacy etc. It's normal.
I like the geek idea and they're often up at the same ridiculous time of night, but a cat or dog is also a great idea. My little dog always lies where he can see me. He's an inside dog. If I have insomnia and wander out to type or read, he'll drag himself out of his basket and amble down the corridor after me. He gives me a disgusted look, as if to say, "You idiot, go back to bed. I was sleeping dag nab it!" But he never leaves me alone. . . even when I want him to.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 19th, 2009, 8:08 pm 
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Joined: November 17th, 2006, 6:53 pm
Posts: 507
Location: The Third Dimension
I love dogs and cats, but I can't have one here. Sad, isn't it? I thought about a fish, but cleaning the tank never was something I enjoyed.

Once long ago, in one of my old apartment buildings, this couple snuck (http://daggle.com/060221-011328.html) a dog. No one knew until one night around 3:00am:

"Squeal!"
"Shh! Shh! Be quiet!"
"Squeeeal squeeal squeeal woof!"

We looked out the bedroom window and there they were, trying to walk their dog and cope with about 7 freshly hatched puppies! Boy, were they cute. So cute, in fact, everyone kept their secret for quite a while, which is no mean feat in a complex.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 19th, 2009, 10:06 pm 
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Joined: December 30th, 2003, 1:08 am
Posts: 1133
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Heh. I thought I heard my name...

;-)

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 20th, 2009, 4:03 am 
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Joined: March 8th, 2004, 4:38 am
Posts: 2101
Location: Botswana
Da-Girl- how's the baby? Do you have bio oil there? You must put it on your growing belly it will help with the stretch marks. Hope all morning sickness is gone now. When is she coming?

Wendy small correction- it's not because we live in the Southern hemisphere it's because we live in other time zones in an easterly and westerly fashion. But you're right I'm often online when others are sleeping.

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"I am building a stairway to the stars. I have the authority to take the whole of mankind up there with me.
That is why I write." - Bessie Head


http://thoughtsfrombotswana.blogspot.com/


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 20th, 2009, 8:39 pm 
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Joined: July 14th, 2004, 8:45 pm
Posts: 2399
Location: australia
Ok, Lolok, I know that technically you're right - it's a time zone thingy.
But in my head it's still a hemisphere thingy - like summer and winter.
You are scientifically correct, but I just can't get my head around that stuff.
I find it's easier to just narrow the options to 2: north and south. Image


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 20th, 2009, 10:11 pm 
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Joined: December 30th, 2003, 1:08 am
Posts: 1133
Location: Melbourne, Australia
LoloK wrote:
Da-Girl- how's the baby? Do you have bio oil there? You must put it on your growing belly it will help with the stretch marks. Hope all morning sickness is gone now. When is she coming?


- Baby's doing extremely well. Lots of movement and kicks. Nickname is Tigger because of all the bouncing it does.

- Yes, we have Bio Oil, but I won't touch the stuff. Have you read the ingredient list? Horribly toxic. I have been using a divine organic baby lotion and don't yet have a single mark. And it's cheaper.

- I never had any morning sickness.

- [Snarky comment alert!] She or he is coming on her or his birthday. [end snark] (Which could be around the middle of March.) (Can you tell I've been spending too much time around militant women and children's rights activists?)

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 21st, 2009, 3:03 am 
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Joined: November 17th, 2006, 6:53 pm
Posts: 507
Location: The Third Dimension
This thread has been hijacked by a - pregnancy! Did I wish you Congratulations, Daoine? If not, so sorry! Any name ideas yet?

And just think - you won't ever be lonely!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 21st, 2009, 4:01 am 
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Joined: March 8th, 2004, 4:38 am
Posts: 2101
Location: Botswana
Is it toxic? Gosh I must run for the label. I use it on heels and elbows.

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"I am building a stairway to the stars. I have the authority to take the whole of mankind up there with me.
That is why I write." - Bessie Head


http://thoughtsfrombotswana.blogspot.com/


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 21st, 2009, 5:12 am 
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Joined: July 14th, 2004, 8:45 pm
Posts: 2399
Location: australia
They reckon rose hip oil is supposed to be good, too. Taken externally, mind you.

Glad to hear you're so well and everything is ticking along fine, D. Isn't it the most amazing feeling when they're moving around? My babies are now 31 and 29 years old, but I still remember that awesome feeling.


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