Ya gotta go play:

http://www.romancejunkies.com/rjblog/?p=262

Some hysterical entries already!

_________________
Founding member of The Blood-Red Pencil
http://bloodredpencil.blogspot.com

Hi Ele,
Hee hee. I just posted my own entry, which took about as long to write as it looks.

Dave

_________________
www.davidlevinchess.com

I've just added my own contribution. I really enjoyed both of yours.
I have to tell you that Query letters are the bane of my life. I just can't seem to get the right 'feel' - they always come out stiff and stilted. I think I try too hard to get it just right.
arrrgghhhh!

Dave, I don't think you have a career writing romance if you crank out bustblockers. Har! I almost fell out of my chair. Nice job, you two. Now why is that so much more fun than good query letters, I ask you!

_________________
Founding member of The Blood-Red Pencil
http://bloodredpencil.blogspot.com

Love it!

# 5 Dave Levin Says:
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
To Whom It May Concern:

I have like a totally great book idea that I’m positive will be a bustblocker. I know this for sure because my mother-in-law said so and she’s such a good writer that at the supermarket where she works the boss always asks her to do the signs that say tomato’s on sale and stuff like that.

But before I spill the beers, I want to know if your one of those sleazeball publishers because if you are I don’t want you to make lots of money and me not.

Assuming you’re legit, my story is kind of a combination of the best parts of The Godmother Part L and The Even Couple. I can’t tell you more because it’s not written yet. But all I need to write this fantastic book is for you to get me a laptop, a room at a nice hotel with a pool because I do my best thinking when my head’s underwater, and a full-time personal assistant so that I can devote a full four hours a day to the book. And it would be nice if the assistant was attractive so that I’m not bored the rest of the time.

You need to replay right away because I can easily find someone else to publish it if you’re to dumb too.

Sincerely,
David H. Levin

p.s. - This is the first query letter I’ve written. I hope it lowers the bar.

_________________
ShelleyBueche.com

I think he'll win, don't you? Snort!

_________________
Founding member of The Blood-Red Pencil
http://bloodredpencil.blogspot.com

Dave: hysterical. You've reminded me to try to start every day with a good laugh.
Happy 4th, people.

Colleen

_________________
"All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know." (Hemingway, "A Moveable Feast.")

"Write the Truth." (Author's advice written in signed copy of Robert McKee's "Story.")

Thanks, everyone!

_________________
www.davidlevinchess.com

yeah - much better than my feeble attempt, Dave. Hope you win.

HEY - just had a thought. Does this mean that I not only suck at writing good query letters, I can't write bad ones, either?!!!!!!!!

Thanks Wendy, but your attempt doesn't strike me as feeble, just more subtle than other entries. I don't see anything wrong with that.

Dave

_________________
www.davidlevinchess.com

Congratulations, Dave, oh worthy and honourable co-winner with the other person whose name I can't remember.

HOORAY for you!!!!!

So, Dave is going to get interviewed at Lisa Logan's romance site.....ooooo, boy! Watcha gonna talk about....the best moves??? LOL.

_________________
Founding member of The Blood-Red Pencil
http://bloodredpencil.blogspot.com

You mean like "pawn to king-four"? I don't know anything about the other kind. I just be myself and watch women jockey for my attention.

Dave

_________________
www.davidlevinchess.com

Here's the famous interview... and he actually talks about chess! Dave, where is your sense of adventure? http://tinyurl.com/6484d3

_________________
Founding member of The Blood-Red Pencil
http://bloodredpencil.blogspot.com

I must have missed all this when I was on vacation in New York. Dave, that query letter is supremely awful!

_________________
"In the beginning was the Word..."

http://groovybell.blogspot.com/

and

http://groovytrekkers.blogspot.com/

Now I Squidoo!!!
http://www.squidoo.com/lensmasters/groovyoldlady