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PostPosted: October 5th, 2003, 4:38 pm 
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Joined: October 5th, 2003, 4:33 pm
Posts: 5
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
Hi, my name is Katherine. I am not a writer but I want to tell my story. I was homeschooled all of my life & then put into Bible college at age 15. Homeschooling is not all it is cracked up to be. All the books I've ever found are pro-homeschooling. Someone needs to tell the truth & I am willing. If there are any authors or writers out there that want to speak with me please respond to this post or e-mail me.

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Katherine


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PostPosted: October 7th, 2003, 8:51 am 
Wow. I dunno. I was homeschooled from 9th thru 12th grade. Part of it I loved, because I had some freedom. Other parts I hated, because I feel like I missed a lot.
I'd rather do homeschooling for my kids when I have some, then send them to public schools.

Is this going to be a bash book, or just a different perspective?


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 Post subject: Response from Katherine
PostPosted: October 8th, 2003, 3:36 pm 
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Joined: October 5th, 2003, 4:33 pm
Posts: 5
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
This is not going to be a "bash book" necessarily about homeschooling. I will be brutally honest though, especially about the right wing aspect of homeschooling which has done incredible damage to its children. I am not anti-homeschooling at all. But it must be done correctly & for the right reasons. Not to isolate or exclude your children from the world. Your kids are not going to grow up in a homeschooled world. You must prepare them for that.

Sincerely,

Katherine

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Katherine


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 Post subject: Homeschool
PostPosted: October 8th, 2003, 7:46 pm 
Katherine:
You have found a neglected issue. Homeschooled children are often at the top of everything academic, but few realize there is another side. A relative of ours, a high school graduate, homeschools her six children with workbooks and little else. The eldest is so far behind that she would be held back if she went to public high school. Family members have advised the child to bite the bullet and go to public school, but her mother is saying, "They (school authorities) are against us." Truth be told, the mother wants the high school-age child to help her raise baby #7. This is an abuse of home schooling and the perpetuation of ignorance, but it is does not seem to be addressed by state officials or by the media. Finding data and people willing to discuss the issue will be your biggest obstacles. Good luck.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: October 8th, 2003, 8:13 pm 
I homeschooled my Godson for a year and a half...and it was a mixed blessing....he was so far behind in all his classes and hated to read...but still had a genius IQ...we were in the public library at least 2 times a week..if not more and used the childrens library to pull up his interest in reading and other subjects....Later when he returned to public school he was back with his aged group......but when transfered back to his Mom...his grades slumped..again....finally he took the GED and finished it in 3 hours with the highest passing grade they had ever had....The really bad part was that he is ODD and we had a time getting him to work....


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PostPosted: October 9th, 2003, 12:05 am 
Dear Katherine,

Thank you for sharing what must be the tip of the iceberg of a great deal of pain for you. Yes, those who write about homeschooling have agendas, and the truth of which you alluded to is not among them. I came from a very religious family who inflicted immense damage upon me in the name of God and religious exclusivity. Their conscious intentions were probably good, but so often their own neurosis and denial became so intertwined with their religious beliefs, that it is next to impossible for me to separate the "good" from the "evil" (to use their terminology) on an emotional level...even after about 15 years of intermittent therapy.

Although I was not homeschooled myself, I attended a fundamentalist Christian school from the 3rd grade on, and a number of my relatives homeschooled or are homeschooling their children. First, there was my aunt, who was and continues to be emotionally unstable. All but her last are finally out of the house, but they didn't leave until a couple of years after their peers, in part because they were behind academically and, in part, because their presence was meeting some very deep needs of their mother. Although the oldest excelled in college, the one boy in the family was sent to a military academy to finish high school because of his romantic involvement with his younger sister. (Although incest happens in many families, the lack of outside contact undoubtedly contributed in this case.) Another very religious relative homeschooled their two girls during middle school to remove them from peer influence. (One of their parents, mind you, had a Ph.D. in psychology.) The one daughter, who had never made friends easily, was glad to be protected from the world. But the other daughter, who was very well-liked by her peers, was clearly distraught by the conflict between her desire to have friends and the pressure from her parents to separate from and speak disparagingly of her peers. The third relative who homeschools is my sister, which has been the most painful for me to accept. Although she loves her children and thinks she is doing the best thing for them, I know that her deepest motivation is fear. Fear of not having total control. Fear of sex. Fear of mean people. She is trying to protect her children from the things that frightened her as a child. Ironically, much of what frightened her as a chid was what happened WITHIN our very religious household, not without! Although two of her three children are excelling with all that one-on-one contact, the third child definitely needs to be among peers. Although she realizes this, she just cannot let go. The really bizarre thing is realizing that her children will likely carry her fears within them anyway because it is most often our parents from whom we inherit our fears.

One of the most harmful aspects in our extremely religious household was scripturally justified abuse (and the continued denial that it was abuse). I see my sister carrying on that tradition as part of the whole religious/homeschooling mentality and it just breaks my heart to see it and feel so helpless to stop it.

I could say more, lots more, but my kids need me now. So let me just say that I have done a great deal of healing since childhood. One important thing I have learned is that it is O.K. to be part of the world, to be normal, even just mediocre sometimes. But I have also learned that some pain never dies and the most I can probably hope for in some areas of past trauma is that I interrupt the cycle by not inflicting that same pain upon my own children.

You're right, Katherine. Someone needs to tell these truths about homeschooling. But I think it should best be told by someone of the religious right, someone whom the perpetrators respect and will listen to. I do wish you well along your path of healing.

Talia


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 Post subject: Homeschool
PostPosted: October 9th, 2003, 1:21 pm 
Katherine,

I think you'll have a hard time "selling" your ideas, since I'm confused as to your audience. Most people who read about homeschooling are doing it - so, they won't particularly care about your viewsagainst it. Only people who do not homeschool would take up with your "cause." I agree there is the "silent" few out there to whom homeschooling has been a burden, but I doubt that reflects a majority opinion.
Also, there seems to be a belief that all homeschoolers are religious nuts, but that's not the case. As a homeschooler myself, I go to the annual convention in our state and see curriculum from various views - secular and religious. For example, Bill Bennett's program is not what you could consider religious in theme!

Good luck


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 Post subject: To Dan from Katherine
PostPosted: October 9th, 2003, 2:02 pm 
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Joined: October 5th, 2003, 4:33 pm
Posts: 5
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
First of all, it is my story which happens to be very interesting. It is not just about homeschooling. Not all homeschoolers are religious nuts, that is very true. As someone who was homeschooled & has actually worked for homeschooling companies I am quite familiar with how this works. I am not necessarily trying to target one particular audience. My target audience is mainstream America that could learn a lot about homeschooling - both good & bad while simply reading an interesting autobiography.

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Katherine


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 Post subject: PS to Dan
PostPosted: October 9th, 2003, 2:07 pm 
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Joined: October 5th, 2003, 4:33 pm
Posts: 5
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
PS to Dan,
If it will be so hard to sell then why is my e-mail inbox full of writers wanting to write my story? Apparently you don't understand that controversary sells. But then again you are a homeschooler so it is in your best interest that someone like me doesn't write a book!

Good luck to you.

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Thank you,

Katherine


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 Post subject: homeschooling truth
PostPosted: October 9th, 2003, 5:41 pm 
Katherine,

Maybe you can get your story published in FIRST magazine. They publish a lot of "as told to" stories. I don't know if you've seen them. The magazine is offered at the supermarket checkout; the articles are aimed at helping women. You could write them directly with your story/angle, and see if they want to assign someone to you, or maybe one of the writers you are hearing from would be willing to submit a story to them for you.

I'm not saying you shouldn't write a book. It sounds like a good idea. But you can definitely get your idea out faster with an article. Plus you may have people writing to you after they read the article. You might find it valuable to have others to talk to. Their experiences may also inform your book. And if you want to publish commercially, that article and the response it generates can be your calling card.

Good luck.

-ELK


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 Post subject: thriving on controversy
PostPosted: October 10th, 2003, 3:52 pm 
Hi- I know that there are a lot of homeshoolers who keep the kids home to avoid the 'real world" but a majority of people homeschooling nowadays are NOT those extremists, they're generally people who have an interest in their child's education and want to prepare them for the world the best way they know how. [b] I agree, your story needs to be told[/b]. It's never in a child's best interest to raise them with a distorted view of reality (and institutionalized education distorts reality a bit, too) but to use the homeschooling as part of the title (the truth about homeschooling) is really an unfortunate decision. Isn't it really the truth about extremely restrictive lifestyle choices, or the extreme of religious seperatists? I believe the families who lock their children away from the rest of the world (sitting in the kitchen to "homeschool" for 6 hours a day) are doing as much damage to the world as those terrorists who send their sons to boot camp when they're 10 years old.

For the record- we're homeschoolers, we spend 2-3 hours on academics each morning (4-7 days a week). My kids are in Girl Scouts and gymnastics, we go to monthly Science club, Writing club and occasional math club. We spend most Saturdays involved in some sort of community service project (cleaning up the parks, doing yardwork for the elderly or disabled, sorting donations at Salvation Army, painting over graffiti...). We live forSundays when we just hike in the mountains or stay home and unplug the phone. We're not religious extremists, we're not even even a religion. We do believe in God, but not church.

Homeschooling isn't the problem here, I think it's that whole exclusionary lifestyle. And there are people in private schools who are doing the same thing to their children. I can't imagine only ever meeting people who share your parents' beliefs. I mean, imagine how much your world would be rocked upon meeting someone who TOTALLY disagrees. And every religion believes they're right, so I think that would be the most stressful thing. Especially if you're 18-20 and just getting out into the world. It could be disastrous. I guess I don't have to tell you that.

Anyhow, I agree, your story should be told. But realize that it's not over yet, and we're all learning every day whether we're homeschooled or not. The location of the education really doesn't seem to be the issue here, it's bigger than that. It's very real and very important and very current. I would love to hear more of your story.

Lisa Russell


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: October 10th, 2003, 7:42 pm 
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Joined: October 3rd, 2003, 7:03 am
Posts: 2
I run a local homeschooling group, and we share the area with a religious one. The members are all from evangelical churches and must sign a statement of faith. They hosted an informational meeting on homeschooling this year, but refused to let members of other groups speak. It turned out being a big Praise Jesus circus, and many families left before the presentation was over. Obviously their goal was not only to promote homeschooling, but promote a very religious kind.

I don't think they would "allow" each other to read a book of horror stories about their choice of schooling - but I do believe parents would be VERY receptive to a how-to guide written by an adult homeschooled student. By sharing what you think would have been more productive - especially when backed up by other people's experiences - you could help a lot of people rethink their decisions.

That way you could share your story but make it helpful too - and for homeschoolers, any "helpful" book seems to make its way to the list of "necessaries." lol I know I have many volumes of books I just had to buy because they addressed things from another angle.

Good luck on the project ~
Hilary

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 Post subject: Homeschooling
PostPosted: October 11th, 2003, 12:19 pm 
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Joined: October 8th, 2003, 2:18 pm
Posts: 13
Location: Dallas, Texas
Wow, this topic obviously is of interest and may even have touched a few nerves. Having been married to a public school teacher and also having friends who are public school teachers, I must admit a bias against home schooling, but I am genuinely trying to set it aside while reading all of this.

For one thing, teaching is not easy but for some reason everyone thinks they can do it. There is a genuine talent necessary to be an effective teacher. With home schooling, you are also talking about one person teaching in many cases, ( I know that some home schoolers are taught by more than one person) and that leads to questions of how effective one person can be teaching all subjects.

I know of a home schooled child who was extremely bright but once she entered a public high school she proved to be behind academically and had a number of problems on the social front. I don't know her parents well enough to ask if they now regret home schooling her but I've always wondered.

It would be a difficult story to do, because this may well be one of those subjects where there is no middle ground; you are either for it or against it. If it become a book or even an article, no doubt it would be attacked for claims fo bias one way or the other. I ma a Christian and I am often troubled that some Christians twist Christianity for their own personal agendas. No doubt, home schooling is an area where such an agenda sometimes is a major player.

But, man, I sit here and think about it and I would really like to know more about it. I would like to know the percentages as to who it benefits, who it doesn't, and what are the feelings of those who were home schooled. I'm guessing a lot of other people would be interested also. A problem might be the huge scope of the subject. Particularly if a book were envisioned, we are talkiing about a lot fo research needing to be done before anything is really written.

I would be happy to explore this further with you. The more I write her, the more I am enticed by the challenge of writing abou it. Feel free ot e-mail me at jsadler57@hotmail.com if you want ot discuss it further.

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James Sadler


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PostPosted: October 14th, 2003, 5:51 pm 
I would like to read about home schooling from the perspective of someone that went through it, not just from a parent's point of view, and not just a "how to." A book that included perspectives from a variety of people who experienced homeshcooling would be enlightening also. Don't be deterred by naysayers, tell your story. Just start writing a journal, get into some kind of memoir-writing class and start writing that book yourself!

Janet W


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PostPosted: October 15th, 2003, 12:36 pm 
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Joined: October 8th, 2003, 12:22 pm
Posts: 39
Interestingly, the CBS Evening News last night (10/15) did a story on parents who use homeschooling as a front to cover up child abuse. This may signal that the timing is good for a book about the "dark side" of homeschooling.


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