I, too, am a survivor of spousal abuse. It was the worst time of my life. I was married to an ex-Marine re-con who served behind enemy lines in Vietnam. Anyone and everyone around me was also apt to find themselves the focal point of his wrath, for he was a very dangerous, unpredictable man who saw violence as the only sure way to make his feelings clear.
To Lone Ranger, you are doing a great job I'm sure. A good friend, who makes her feel better about herself and who offers her support, is what she needs. It also doesn't hurt that she knows she can turn to you for protection, and really be safe, when she's ready. Just make sure she knows you're there for her, no matter what, in any way she needs you, and, after some time passes, she might do what she knows she must do--leave him.
I'm planning on writing an article, possibly even a novel, on the subject of survivors of spousal abuse. If you are interested in being interviewed, please contact me at: MelissaPehle@msn.com