Scott Peterson reminds me of my ex. Deep down i always feared my ex would harm me in some way down the road. He was very abusive, drank, and had an evil side.
I couldnt even feel comfortable enough to sleep next to him the whole time we were together for nine years. I would joke to my mother that i had to sleep with one eye open. Really it was just sad. Deep down i just didnt trust him with anything, not even my safety. That is really sad.
He proved it to me over and over again. Any time i was sick, he would make me worse not comfort me. No concern for my health. I have a severe low blood sugar problem that gets worse with stress. I feared that if i ever passed out, he would just walk over me, and let me die. I felt he wouldnt care or call an ambulance.
In the early days of the relationship, when i didnt know better, he would wrestle me and when i couldnt breathe, and asked him to stop, he would sit on my ribs or hold a pillow over my head to constrict my airway more, just for the sinister fun of it. WIth no concern of the pain he caused me.
As the years went by, i grew to hate him more and more, and the love got less and less. THe innner voice got stronger. Literally i swear, in the last days we were together, my inner voice was so loud, it was screaming "YOU HAVE TO END THIS".
Finally i did. I havent had one sleepless night since. I look and feel the best i ever have in my entire life.
This christmas im so glad to be away from that abusive bastard. I was a nervous wreck with him, always sick from stress.
But no more.
If i didnt care enough about myself in the end to walk away, he no doubt would of killed me, or caused me to have a heart attack from the stress.
If there is anyone out there reading this that is in an abusive relationship, you can be free of the pain and live happy again.
Just do it. You might think it feels like jumping off a cliff. But i assure you, peace and love are on the other side.