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PostPosted: October 14th, 2004, 10:25 am 
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Joined: October 13th, 2004, 4:01 am
Posts: 1
Hey there, I'm a newbie. It’s good to be here tho. I think it so healthy to share your experiences with others – good or bad. I have been through a rollercoaster year and my life is only now starting to resemble something normal. I suspected my husband was cheating, but lived in agony being unable to get proof – I swear it’s the not knowing that kills you. I’d confront him and he’d deny it and on it went until eventually I had to do something! I knew that he used my home PC a lot and was very secretive about his e-mails so I downloaded a product called Looxee and was literally able to catch him red-handed. I can now move on with my life. He had been conducting online affairs and looking at porn for a period of 5 years, right under my nose. I was humiliated and devastated. Anyway, I moved out, we are separated but, 9 months down the line; I am re-building my life and can actually smile again. If anyone’s in a similar situation and needs a way to get proof of an affair, discreetly, check out http://www.looxee.com. You have a right to know.


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PostPosted: October 14th, 2004, 11:10 am 
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Joined: January 13th, 2004, 4:38 pm
Posts: 426
Online affairs? Does that mean he never took it to the level of actually meeting any of the women? Frankly, if my wife was having "online affairs" I would want to talk to her about it, in an effort to try to understand what she was missing from our relationship, but that alone would not be enough to prompt me to divorce her.

Now, a REAL affair, where she went out and met the guy and became intimate with him... that would be a completely different matter. That would be an offense for which no second chance would be offered.

Luckily for me, neither of these scenarios is anything I have to worry about.


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 Post subject: online affair
PostPosted: October 14th, 2004, 4:00 pm 
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Joined: September 9th, 2004, 2:31 pm
Posts: 6
Location: Rocky Mountains, CO
Who-eee denverdon! What we are talking about here is a spiritual wounding. A total lack of respect and honor. From someone who made a vow to you. It hurts big time. My guess is this is one of many hurts.


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PostPosted: October 15th, 2004, 11:20 am 
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Joined: January 13th, 2004, 4:38 pm
Posts: 426
"My guess is this is one of many hurts."

That would be my guess, too; there is probably a lot more to this than just the "online affairs" that are mentioned in the first post. Still, I only know what's in the post, and I only know how I would react. Like I said, "online affairs" alone would not be enough to cause me to divorce my wife. Others, naturally, are free to apply their own standards.


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PostPosted: October 15th, 2004, 7:16 pm 
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Joined: April 29th, 2004, 8:49 pm
Posts: 3632
Location: God's country
On line affairs don't mean there is not phone sex. Maybe that doesn't make denver upset. But many chatters will arrange to have "mutual phone sex" as well and send photos of themselves, etc. The online relationship is just as "out of the marriage" as a physical affair. As a therapist, I worked with tons of men who were "out there" but in the marriage enough to not have to commit to the next person. Its all semantics but the acting out is just as real. Real intimacy in a relationship is emotional and if someone is having an online affair, they are no longer intimate with you. They have moved on, in their mind and sooner or later, the body matches up with the mind.


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 Post subject: computer friends
PostPosted: October 19th, 2004, 2:51 pm 
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Joined: January 7th, 2004, 5:15 pm
Posts: 22
Location: Way up North
According to my ex just speaking to a male on the computer was enough to justify his cheating. I even let him talk to the couple of male "friends" I had made over the computer. One of whom I have been "friends" with and nothing more for several years. For goodness sakes one of them was gay! So there was no reason for my ex to be upset.


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