Home




The WritersWeekly.com Forum is officially closed.
You are welcome to browse the archives of past
discussions below, but there are no new discussions.




Everything has moved to our new website,
where you can comment on articles
and submit questions directly to us. Please join us there.




Statements appearing in these forums represent the opinions of the authors
of each post, not the opinion of WritersWeekly.com and/or BookLocker.com.
It is currently August 23rd, 2017, 5:12 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Need advice
PostPosted: October 5th, 2004, 9:58 am 
Offline

Joined: October 5th, 2004, 9:36 am
Posts: 1
I have been married to my husband for 21 yrs. We have 3 children & one is in college. I homeschool the other 2. My husband is an alcoholic. He is not the type that is staying drunk all the time. He never needs to take one drink, because when he does, that is it. More, more, more until he has hit rock-bottom & then I don't have to tell you what it does to our famiily. This kind of thing has happened sporodically for all these years. He always promises to do better the next day. The last few years he has been acting crazy & sometimes he thinks he is crazy. He embarasses me & my kids by being loud & obnoxious. He's not good to me as a husband should be. I have been very unhappy in my marriage for several years. I don't know what to do. I'm confused. I have made him move out since his last drunken rage. He went to another state & ended up getting drunk & received a DUI out of it. Someone he knew there put up their property to bail him out. I didn't know anything about it till the next day. He may have to serve 90 days in jail. He's really turned his family upside down.
Now he is coming around acting pitiful & crying & asking me if I will go to marriage counseling & he will promise to go to AA. I don't know what to do. I know that he is mentally killing me inside.
Anybody been through this & what are your thoughts? [/b]


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: October 5th, 2004, 7:27 pm 
Offline

Joined: January 11th, 2004, 11:58 am
Posts: 435
Location: Tennessee
Momof3,

I watched my mother go through this with my father. He was an alcoholic and went from drinking beer when I was young to whiskey when I was in my teens. He would say he was drying out but the alcohol kept disappearing from the bottles...I know because I scored the bottle with my pocket knife on a regular basis. My mother was not happy for many years and finally told him that if he really wanted the divorce he spoke of so often then he should go get it. He never did.
Somehow we managed to get by until he died on Sept. 1, 1988 of his sickness. The booze had eaten through his liver and kidneys by then and was literally going straight to his brain. He did not know who we were or where he was when they took him to the hospital.
I know what it did to our family and myself watching my Mom go through the arguments with him. Momof3, it is not worth the pain that it can cause.
Here is my advice:
Wait for him to start attending AA meetings and stays on the wagon for at least 6 months. Do not let him live with you during that time as you and your children need some time to heal from the current wounds you bear. If he can stay dry for at least 6 months then you can talk about counseling but still live separated. He is going to have to make the effort to straighten up and not rely on you to give him shelter while he goes back to drinking.
By all means tell him this is what you want(if this is what you choose). Make it clear that you are going to stand your ground until he gets dry. He'll probably try to make you feel guilty about it and (heaven forbid) threaten you but that is when the police can come in if necessary.

I am willing to be your strength if you need it. I know what alcohol can do to a man and a family and do not want to see the children hurt any more than they already are. PM me if you need to. Please.

_________________
Write Angle
Honesty. Integrity. Simple.
http://writeangle.netfirms.com


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: to mom of 3
PostPosted: October 6th, 2004, 1:47 pm 
Offline

Joined: September 9th, 2004, 2:31 pm
Posts: 6
Location: Rocky Mountains, CO
I have been in your shoes and believe me my heart goes out to you. The advice from bwhite was right on the money. That advice is for him and this is for you. Find an alanon group. They will help you get better and then you can help the kids. Kinda like when the airlines tell moms to take the oxygen first and then help their kids. If you don't like that group, keep trying until you find one you like. Just go and listen if you don't feel like talking. They are very supportive and can do so much for you at a local level. The whole family must heal, not just dad. Bless you...be safe.


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Need advice
PostPosted: May 20th, 2016, 12:51 am 
Offline

Joined: May 17th, 2016, 10:24 am
Posts: 1
Location: Slovenia
I need advice does anyone know how to get free leads for my work at home business I am doing.
Thanks

_________________
sweet little girls


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group