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PostPosted: September 10th, 2004, 5:48 pm 
:evil: My kids have been telling social workers and anyone they can tell they abuse they suffer at the hands of my ex husband. The social workers and child protection in the past have said they can do nothing about it because the kids do not keep their story straight. Well could it be because they interview them while at their dads home? Or could it be because they are interveiwed at school while on visitation time with their father? Hmm lets think about this for a moment. It has been noted that my children are violent with animals, sexual with eachother, violent with eachother, play with fire and in the past wet their beds. They have the makings of the next generation of criminals. I say that seriously since my ex husbands brother murdered his girlfriend. He beat her to death when she tried to leave him. My fiance and I are now pregnant and my ex husband is telling the children to tell me that he hopes the bastard will die and he would like to kill it himself. He also told the children to tell me that I should stop f-ing so many different men. He also asked the kids if I knew who the father of the baby was. He has also verbally attacked my fiance when picking up the children. We have police reports we have reports to social services. After 2 1/2 years of being gone from this man the abuse continues through the children and social services/child proctection perpetuate the cycle of abuse by doing NOTHING. Why is this allowed to continue? I have gone through the local center of non violence to ask for help. My children have spoken to them. At times things get documented other times they do not. I am so CONFUSED and FRUSTRATED. One of my children suffers the most from my ex husband. My ex husband consistantly slaps this child to his/her (privacy) knees while his brothers look on. He is my ex husbands whipping post. This same child hit his father with a hammer in self defence nearly breaking his fathers hand. In the process my child was injured. A purple hole in his/her knee is a permanent reminder of the incident. For 2 1/2 years I have been asking when will this stop? When one of my children comes home in a body bag? Or when this man does final and physical harm to me?


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PostPosted: September 10th, 2004, 10:36 pm 
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Joined: April 29th, 2004, 8:49 pm
Posts: 3632
Location: God's country
As a psychotherapist that worked in abuse, the thing you do have to try to create is consistency in the children's account of their abuse. I think the best way to do that is to take them consistently to counseling. Thru the counseling, a couple of things will happen: the counselor will document past and current abuses, teach the children some coping skills, and have the documentation to go to court when it's time. It's important that you pick a counselor who is trained in abused children and has done court testimony since it will probably eventually get to that point. Not all have. You have to create a paper trail with someone with credentials and hopefully someone your children can feel safe enough with to tell their stories over the long haul.

This isn't an immediate fix but in time, with a good counselor, they will have enough documentation from sessions with your children to move this thing forward. But its important to get a counselor who does court testifying.


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PostPosted: September 11th, 2004, 8:05 am 
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Joined: January 11th, 2004, 11:58 am
Posts: 435
Location: Tennessee
Frustrated,

I agree with Willow on the counseling part. Your kids will need counseling but you will too. Do not neglect yourself in the counseling process.
Here is what I suggesst for the situation with your ex:

If you have contacted the police and child services but still noting is being done, go higher! I have gone so far as to contact my state Governor in situations where I do not know where else to turn. Contact your elected officials (including your state Governor), contact a local news station and your local newspaper. Be sure you talk to one of the reporters who are most likely to listen and act on this. City officials literally HATE having their negligence publicized!
Do not sit and be frustrated anymore. Rock the boat and give a reason for action on this...there is absolutely no telling how much/how fast things will move from here but nothing will be done until you make the first move.
One last note:
If you need anything or need a shoulder I will offer what I have to you. Contact me here or through my e-mail and I will do everything I can to help.
Please keep us posted?

_________________
Write Angle
Honesty. Integrity. Simple.
http://writeangle.netfirms.com


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PostPosted: September 13th, 2004, 1:50 pm 
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Joined: January 7th, 2004, 5:15 pm
Posts: 22
Location: Way up North
Thank you so much ! Both of you. I worry sometimes that I am not getting across clearly what I am trying to say, but I think that may be a throw back to him telling me I was crazy. Thanks again.


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